Project management 01/05/2015 22:01

tirinha
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Original: Gerenciamento de projetos

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Beto Raposa";

Boss: I don't understand all that code on your screen. It's greek to me. I need you always explain to me all you're doing... So I will know you're not working on something out from our projects...
Programmer: Ok. I'm implementing a class to manage the...
Boss: No, no... I don't need too much details... Just say you're working on our project always you're working on it.
--
T-shirt: My boss is a zombie

In the cloud 27/04/2015 22:25

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I met the "Alonso" of that story:

na-nuvem

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Paiva";

Boss: So you will work online on those projects. The server is already in the cloud...
(Alonso looking up to the clouds)
--
T-shirt: Jean cloud van damme

Weird behavior 24/04/2015 14:19

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Original: Comportamento estranho

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "João Gabriel";

User: The poll you created for our site has kind of a weird behavior...
Programmer: How weird? Because it's already approved...
User: Yes, but I just saw that every time I vote one option, it changes the percentage of all other options!
--
T-shirt: I see dead users

Windows version 21/04/2015 08:54

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Original: Versão do Windows

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "walterfcarvalho";

Programmer: Hi, are you the IT manager? The database server is running Windows, right?
IT Manager: Yeah...
Programmer: I need to homologate. Tell me, the server is running Windows 2003 or 2008?
IT Manager: Sorry, I really don't know. In 2003 I wasn't working here...
--
T-shirt: c:\>

The coin magic 17/04/2015 16:07

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Outdated report 17/04/2015 15:38

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Original: Relatório desatualizado

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Vinícius Michelan";

User: The report is completely outdated! It's displaying info from 2 years ago, from march 2013
Programmer: hmmm... The invoice you're using to generate this report is from april 2015?
User: No...
Programmer: What's the invoice date?
User: March 2013...
--
T-shirt: Press Alt+F4

Disturbing news 14/04/2015 19:33

tirinha
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Original: Notícia preocupante

Transcription ↓

A.P.: Geez! It says here that excessive coffee drinking increase the risk of eye damage... Did you see it?
Programmer: No... I saw nothing... (Holding a walking stick and wearing sunglasses)
T-shirt: .:..::.:..::.:.

Goals 13/04/2015 21:42

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Original: Metas

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Alexandre Torres";

Boss: Our projects are running late. I was wondering and realized how to improve our approach. From now, we won't work with deadlines, but with goals
Programmer: Goals? And what will be the goals?
Boss: The final dates to release the programs
Programmer: Ugh!

Configuration file 07/04/2015 22:21

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Original: Arquivo de configuração

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Toddy";

Alonso: The system did not establish connection with database...
Programmer: Let me see the database connection config file.
Alonso: Oh, I deleted that file and I saved the info inside the database to increase security...
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: 17:59

The system does nothing 06/04/2015 22:34

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Original: O sistema não faz nada

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "César Rodrigues";

Boss: The client said the system is broken and it's not working. He said it does nothing.
Programmer: What was he trying to do? Was he registering new customers?
Boss: No.
Programmer: Was it that invoice issue again?
Boss: No. He said he only opened the system and nothing happened.
Programmer: Which button did he press?
Boss: He said none.
Programmer: Let me see: He wasn't registering anyone, neither querying or printing anything. He didn't press any button and the system didn't do anything??
Boss: Yes! That's what he said!
--
T-shirt: It's magic

 

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