Goals 13/04/2015 21:42

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Original: Metas

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "Alexandre Torres";

Boss: Our projects are running late. I was wondering and realized how to improve our approach. From now, we won't work with deadlines, but with goals
Programmer: Goals? And what will be the goals?
Boss: The final dates to release the programs
Programmer: Ugh!

Configuration file 07/04/2015 22:21

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Original: Arquivo de configuração

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "Toddy";

Alonso: The system did not establish connection with database...
Programmer: Let me see the database connection config file.
Alonso: Oh, I deleted that file and I saved the info inside the database to increase security...
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: 17:59

The system does nothing 06/04/2015 22:34

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Original: O sistema não faz nada

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "César Rodrigues";

Boss: The client said the system is broken and it's not working. He said it does nothing.
Programmer: What was he trying to do? Was he registering new customers?
Boss: No.
Programmer: Was it that invoice issue again?
Boss: No. He said he only opened the system and nothing happened.
Programmer: Which button did he press?
Boss: He said none.
Programmer: Let me see: He wasn't registering anyone, neither querying or printing anything. He didn't press any button and the system didn't do anything??
Boss: Yes! That's what he said!
--
T-shirt: It's magic

Easter eggs 03/04/2015 10:25

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Original: Ovos de Páscoa

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Programmer: Alonso, where's the "Save" button on the form?
Alonso: I took off...
Programmer: What??? And how will it save the information?
Alonso: The user only needs to type down, R, up, L, Y, B
Programmer: Are you crazy??
Alonso: No... I was reading about easter eggs so I put one in the system...
Programmer: FACEPALM!

Hurry up the development 02/04/2015 22:23

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Original: Adiantar a entrega

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Alezio Wanderley";

Manager: We need to hurry up the development in two days. Is it possible to deliver the system tomorrow?
Programmer: No way. It's too much for short time... I can deliver it on the appointed day...
Manager (whispering): Ok, tell me What do you need to deliver it tomorrow, then I can get it to you...
Programmer: I need two more days...
--
T-shirt: Stack overflow

Great initiative 01/04/2015 09:48

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Original: Ótima iniciativa

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string sender;
sender = "Nairon";

Boss: From today you'll be solo at the project, because our customer only have funds to one man/hour
Programmer: So, the deadline will be changed?
Boss: No, it will remain the same. The customer don't wants postponements
Programmer: But to do it on the same time only if I work the twice!
Boss: Great suggestion! You can do this. I will tell the customer about your initiative!
--
T-shirt: I ? my boss

Did you try to google it? 31/03/2015 23:54

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Original: Já tentou o Google?

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "@adriells";

Nephew: How can I convert that string to uppercase?
Programmer: Did you try to google it?
Nephew: No... I'll try!
Nephew: It didn't work!
Code on screen: google($str);
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: FATAL ERROR

Does not work on the server 30/03/2015 09:21

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Original: Não funciona no servidor

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "Adriano Dias";

Alonso: Dude, the files I uploaded to server aren't working yet...
Programmer: Are you sure you have uploaded all needed files from your computer?
Alonso: It's not working on my machine too...
Programmer: FACEPALM!

Security flaw 27/03/2015 23:06

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Original: Falha de segurança

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "Paulo J.";

Boss: Our system has an extreme security flaw and I need you to fix it immediately!
Programmer: What is happening?
Boss: An acquaintance of mine accessed our system without permission
Programmer: Do you imagine how he did it?
Boss: No, he had never accessed since I told him my user and password...
--
T-shirt: Working for a genius

Invoice value 25/03/2015 10:09

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Original: Valor da nota

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Flávio S. Pires";

Programmer: Where do I inform this increase value from invoice to the user's report?
Boss: No, you don't. Just decrease this value from total value, then it's Ok.
Programmer: But decrease it from invoice wouldn't be slush fund??
Boss: What are you?? FBI Agent?? IRS auditor??
--
T-shirt: umask 007

 

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