Company logo 05/03/2015 10:56


Original: Logo da empresa

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Tadeu Classe";

User: The company logo is not being displayed on the system reports!
Programmer: hmmm... Have you inserted the logo at the system?
User: No, we didn't have a logo yet... But we have a business card. It fits?
T-shirt: The world might have ended when they promised

Project Deadline 05/03/2015 01:41


Original: Prazo de projeto

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Paulo Ribeiro";

Boss: Well, you estimated 3000 hours to this project, but our client wants it on 30 days!
Programmer: Calculating... 3000 hours, 3 resources, 160 hours/month... Well, 6 months!
Boss: What could we deliver on 30 days?
Programmer: The Marketing team has some nice gifts...
T-shirt: No idea for this t-shirt

Important field 03/03/2015 10:37


Original: Campo importante

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Douglas";

Boss: Where is the field type_species?
Programmer: You asked to remove it, so it was removed
Boss: Impossible! I would never ask it. This is an important field for all the system...
Programmer: Ok, then I'll put it back
Boss: Well, but I wonder if it's really necessary...
T-shirt: true false maybe

Problem on list 26/02/2015 09:15


Original: Problema na listagem

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "bibi";

User: The associated list on our site shows the full list... And it has filter options A | B | C...
User: But when we click on "A", it shows only the names starting with "A"...
Programmer: One minute...
Programmer (showing the phone to all colleagues): It's now on speaker to hear you better... Can you repeat?
T-shirt: Everybody laughs

Satisfaction 25/02/2015 16:52


Original: Satisfação

Transcription ↓

/* inspired by many hours without sleep and a brainstorm on twitter */
Boss: Congratulations for your work. It was very good and our client already called twice just to say thanks...
Boss: By the way, that salary increase you asked was already approved...
(At home)
TRIMMMMMMM! (Alarm clock)
Programmer (waking up): Damn!!
T-shirt: void

Exception 24/02/2015 10:09


Original: Exceção

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Macoto Jr";

Alonso: Man, the form is saying it was successfully saved, but it's not stored on database...
Programmer: Let me see... Show me where on the code you are displaying that message
Alonso: Here: throw new Exception('User successfully saved!');
Programmer: FACEPALM!
T-shirt: Why?

Network error 23/02/2015 09:45


Original: Erro na rede

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "ZettaBrasil";

Trainee: I'm remotely on user's computer because he can't access the system. It might be DNS error...
Programmer: Try to turn off and on again the network card...
Trainee: Damn! I lost my connection!
Programmer: TROLLFACE!

What language? 19/02/2015 11:30


Original: Em qual linguagem desenvolver?

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Rodrigo Ottero";

Boss: What are you arguing about?
Programmer: If we should use Visual C++ or Java on the new project
Boss: What are the pros and cons of each one?
Programmer: Well...
(Half hour later...)
Boss: So, it's obvious... Use both languages to write the system...
T-shirt: (Mario picture)

Test phase 17/02/2015 23:43


Original: Fase de testes

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Renan";

User: Hi, have you finished those changes we asked for?
Programmer: Yes, they're ready, just waiting for homologation
User: But I need it now! It's urgent! Send it right now! It's working, isn't? Why does it need homologation?
Programmer: You're right, I'm sending it...
User: And the homologation?
Programmer: Oh, bullshit! We're usually right on the first try...
T-shirt: No test, no fear

Look this comment 16/02/2015 10:34


Original: Olha esse comentário

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "andremt";

Programmer: Geeeeezzzz!! Look this comment on code...
A.P.: Wait...
Comment: /* No need to change the code below, unless it's needed */
A.P.: Well... At least the logic sentence is correct...
T-shirt: Share your heart between /* and */


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