Full Attention 13/02/2015 23:20

tirinhaEN-84

Original: Total atenção

Transcription ↓

Boss: I will explain the requirements and I need your full attention. Please, put your phone on flight mode to avoid interferences...
Programmer: ok...
(Programmer turns phone on flight mode and it flies)
--
T-shirt: If Woody Had Gone Right to the Police...

Screenshot 02/07/2014 20:40

tirinhaEN-83

Original: Cópia da tela

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Breno Alencar";

User: There's an error in your system!
Programmer: What's the error?
User: I don't understand it...
Programmer: Okay... Take a screenshot and send it on my email
User: How can I do it?
Programmer: There's anyone working with technical support in your company?
User: Yes... It's me!
--
T-shirt: (Pacman face)

Do you know SQL? 01/07/2014 22:16

tirinhaEN-82

Original: Manja de SQL?

Transcription ↓

string sender;
sender = "@osuissa";

Nephew: Man, I'm writing my CV to apply for a job... Could you help me?
Programmer: Okay... What did you write?
Nephew: I know about computers, I know typing, read emails, frontpage...
Programmer: Do you know sql?
Nephew: No...
Programmer: So you can write: "NoSQL Specialist"
Nephew: Cool...
--
T-shirt: Trollface

70% 18/02/2014 14:52

tirinhaEN-81

Original: 70%

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Raphael Matori";

Boss: I need to show the site to our client. How are its progress?
Programmer: It's 70% done... I'll up it to the server so you can see it...
(A few later...)
Boss: There's a button which is not working...
--
T-shirt: Don't panic

Insightful user 17/02/2014 05:52

tirinhaEN-80

Original: Cliente perspicaz

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Francisco Aghetti Luchese";

User: The system is not working... The validation says that the discounts are wrong...
Programmer: You have to change the discounts method from products amount to invoice total...
(A few later...)
User: The system is not working... The validation says that the discounts are wrong...
Programmer: Did you perform that change I told you?
User: Not yet...
(Another phone in the wall...)
--
T-shirt: Order a pizza instead of calling me

Programming a network 11/02/2014 06:46

tirinhaEN-79

Original: Programar uma rede

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "afonso";

Friend: You're a programmer, right?
Programmer: Yeah. Why?
Friend: I need to program a network, could you help me?
Programmer: Did you mean, to setup a router?
Friend: No... I need to program my Internet to stop to falling out...
--
T-shirt: I don't always perform miracles

Comments 07/02/2014 06:57

tirinhaEN-78

Original: Comentando o código

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Flavio Araujo";

Nephew: I wrote this code, but it's not working...
Programmer: Let me see...
Programmer: Okay, comment these first two lines...
Nephew: Well, on the first line I declare the variables... Then on the second...
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: Hack'n'troll

Comparing DBs 05/02/2014 07:42

tirinhaEN-77

Original: Comparando BDs

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Suellen Colangelo";

Programmer: Dude, did you do something with the customers' databases?
Alonso: Oh, yeah... I found a nice program to manage and compare databases...
Programmer: And... ?
Alonso: And I realized that the sequences were each one on different numbers...
Programmer: And... ?
Alonso: And so I dropped the sequences...
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: It's not a bug, it's a feature

Honest opinion 04/02/2014 21:33

tirinhaEN-76

Original: Opinião sincera

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "werter";

Programmer: Tell me something: I got this use case... They want it implemented using ajax or in a simple post request?
Manager: Shhh... You'll have to ask it to somebody else... I don't understand about these I.T. things... I'm here just as a kludge...
--
T-shirt: I/O ERROR

Server down 29/01/2014 10:44

tirinhaEN-75

Original: Servidor fora

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Antonio Mochi";

Boss: Please, send that text by email to all employees of our company
Programmer: The mail server is temporarily down...
Boss: Oh, really? So send a mail to everyone announcing that the mail server is down
--
T-shirt: Use the source, Luke

 

↑ Back to the Top