Quick changes 31/01/2013 10:31

Quick changes

Original: Modificações rápidas

Transcription ↓

/* true story sent by Fábio Gomide Nolasco */
Boss: Great job on this website. Those were well invested 90 days.
Programmer: Well... I'm not a designer... So, I presented every step to you to assure it was done right
Boss: It's just a matter of style...
Programmer: Yep...
Boss: But now I just need two quick but important changes: Change the main color to green and change it from PHP to Java, so I can install it on our client's server...
--
T-shirt: Copyleft

Printer not found 29/01/2013 08:03

Printer not found

Original: O sistema não imprime

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Paulo Eduardo */
Client: The system is displaying an error when we try to print...
Programmer: What's the error message?
Client: It says: Printer not found
Programmer: Is the printer turned on?
Client: I don't know. It's under repair...
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: self

Hiring 28/01/2013 09:08

Hiring

Original: Contratação

Transcription ↓

Boss: Since Jack took that flight to sidney and we have no news about him, we decided to hire someone else
Programmer: Please, tell this time you will hire someone with experience...
Boss: Sure! He has a lot of experience with computers. My nephew, Justin. He stays at the computer the whole day. He nuzzles everywhere and learns fast...
Nephew: Hi... what's your fb?
--
T-shirt: Have you tried the tech support?

Someone deleted 24/01/2013 15:00

Someone deleted

Original: Alguém apagou os dados

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Eric */
Coworker: There was a problem with our system
Programmer: What happened?
Coworker: Someone deleted some data from the database
Programmer: Really? Let's do an audit
(After reading the logs...)
Programmer: Well, nobody else accessed the system... Only your user account...
Coworker: I'm the only one who uses this account. I wonder who deleted the data.
--
T-shirt: WYSIWYG

Using a laptop 23/01/2013 14:27

Using a laptop

Original: Quem suporta?

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Tonny */
Support: Hi. I’m visiting our client here, but he can’t find the record. What can I tell him?
Programmer: Ask him to click on “remove filter”
Support: He can’t.
Programmer: Why not?
Support: He’s using a laptop and laptops don’t have mice…
Programmer: PLOFT!
--
T-shirt: <t-shirt>

iPad 22/01/2013 14:42

iPad

Original: iPad S2

Transcription ↓

/* true story lived by airton And elias */
Programmer: Man, I’m going to give an iPad to my girlfriend…
A.P.: You’re going to give your girlfriend an iPad?!?
Programmer: Yep…
A.P.: Do you wanna date me?

User auth 21/01/2013 15:00

User auth

Original: Senha no pagamento

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Lucas Saliba */
Boss: I want you to put a user auth on the payments page.
Programmer: Alright... Just so I know... Why do you need to auth the payments?
Boss: It’s simple... Imagine you lose your bill, then some wise guy finds it and goes and pays it...
--
T-shirt: I'm back

Where's the coffee? 18/01/2013 15:10

Where's the coffee?

Original: Onde fica o café?

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Elison j. */
Programmer: Man, this is my first day here... Could you answer me a question?
Coworker: Say it...
Programmer: Where's the coffee?
Coworker: Coffee? Nobody drinks coffee here...
Programmer: LET ME OUT!!!
--
T-shirt: No coffee, no life

Method Names 17/01/2013 07:18

Method Names

Original: Nomes dos métodos

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Gabriel Fonseca */
Boss: The names of your methods aren't obvious...
Programmer: What do you mean?
Boss: The point is that I never know which verb was used
Programmer: exclude() isn't obvious?
Boss: 'Exclude' is the worst! It has to be 'delete' because it's the same letter
Programmer: BUT WHAT LETTER??
--
T-shirt: Go figure

42 16/01/2013 23:47

42

Didn't understand? Ask the Google Calculator...

Transcription ↓

(Coffee break...)
Coworker 1: I was wondering... What is the answer to life, the universe and everything? Love?
Coworker 2: Success?
Coworker 1: Happiness?
Programmer: he he he
Coworker 2: Why are you laughing?
Programmer: Because I know the answer… But you won’t like it...
--
T-shirt: 42

 

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