Feb 14 14/02/2013 15:28

Feb 14

Original: 14 de fevereiro

Transcription ↓

Programmer: Honey, Do you know what today is?
Wife: Oh Darling... Sure I know... Today is the Valentine's day...
Programmer: Valentine's what?? No, no... Today is Delphi's birthday!
--
T-shirt: ? begin ? end

Those clients... 06/02/2013 16:34

Those clients...

Original: Esses clientes...

Transcription ↓

Boss: What a ?????! Our client is cracking the activation key of our software, to avoid to pay the monthly US$30...
Programmer: Hmm... Your system was made in delphi, right? And how much did you pay on Delphi?
Boss: Nothing... I'ts cracked
Programmer: hmmm... And how much for windows?
Boss: Just US$20 to the boy...
Programmer: And what word you used to our client?
--
T-shirt: Free Kevin Mitnick

Splitting the logs 01/02/2013 17:00

Splitting the logs

Original: Separando os logs

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by leandro pincini */
Boss: I want you split the log files by module to ease the reading under runtime
Programmer: ok
Boss: Have you finished?
Programmer: Yes. Logs separated
(Later...)
Boss: It's very hard to read the logs the way you've done. Write a script to search and join the logs by operation ID
--
T-shirt: ?

Quick changes 31/01/2013 10:31

Quick changes

Original: Modificações rápidas

Transcription ↓

/* true story sent by Fábio Gomide Nolasco */
Boss: Great job on this website. Those were well invested 90 days.
Programmer: Well... I'm not a designer... So, I presented every step to you to assure it was done right
Boss: It's just a matter of style...
Programmer: Yep...
Boss: But now I just need two quick but important changes: Change the main color to green and change it from PHP to Java, so I can install it on our client's server...
--
T-shirt: Copyleft

Printer not found 29/01/2013 08:03

Printer not found

Original: O sistema não imprime

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Paulo Eduardo */
Client: The system is displaying an error when we try to print...
Programmer: What's the error message?
Client: It says: Printer not found
Programmer: Is the printer turned on?
Client: I don't know. It's under repair...
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: self

Hiring 28/01/2013 09:08

Hiring

Original: Contratação

Transcription ↓

Boss: Since Jack took that flight to sidney and we have no news about him, we decided to hire someone else
Programmer: Please, tell this time you will hire someone with experience...
Boss: Sure! He has a lot of experience with computers. My nephew, Justin. He stays at the computer the whole day. He nuzzles everywhere and learns fast...
Nephew: Hi... what's your fb?
--
T-shirt: Have you tried the tech support?

Someone deleted 24/01/2013 15:00

Someone deleted

Original: Alguém apagou os dados

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Eric */
Coworker: There was a problem with our system
Programmer: What happened?
Coworker: Someone deleted some data from the database
Programmer: Really? Let's do an audit
(After reading the logs...)
Programmer: Well, nobody else accessed the system... Only your user account...
Coworker: I'm the only one who uses this account. I wonder who deleted the data.
--
T-shirt: WYSIWYG

Using a laptop 23/01/2013 14:27

Using a laptop

Original: Quem suporta?

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Tonny */
Support: Hi. I’m visiting our client here, but he can’t find the record. What can I tell him?
Programmer: Ask him to click on “remove filter”
Support: He can’t.
Programmer: Why not?
Support: He’s using a laptop and laptops don’t have mice…
Programmer: PLOFT!
--
T-shirt: <t-shirt>

iPad 22/01/2013 14:42

iPad

Original: iPad S2

Transcription ↓

/* true story lived by airton And elias */
Programmer: Man, I’m going to give an iPad to my girlfriend…
A.P.: You’re going to give your girlfriend an iPad?!?
Programmer: Yep…
A.P.: Do you wanna date me?

User auth 21/01/2013 15:00

User auth

Original: Senha no pagamento

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Lucas Saliba */
Boss: I want you to put a user auth on the payments page.
Programmer: Alright... Just so I know... Why do you need to auth the payments?
Boss: It’s simple... Imagine you lose your bill, then some wise guy finds it and goes and pays it...
--
T-shirt: I'm back

 

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