Simple modifications 15/01/2013 19:19

Simple modifications

Original: Alteração Simples

Transcription ↓

Client: So, have you finished those modifications on our system?
Programmer: Not yet. It will be done only by tomorrow, afternoon
Client: Tomorrow?!? But it's just a simple modification!
Programmer: ok. I'm sending it now to your email
Client: What?? Have you finished??
Programmer: No. I'm sending the source code. Since it's simple, you can do it by yourself
T-shirt: You're wrong. Always.

Backup 14/01/2013 11:54


Original: Backup

Transcription ↓

/* true story sent by Washington Aquino */
Programmer: Do you have an updated backup from the database? I'll need to restore it.
Support: Backup??? Oh, sure, I have it...
(At the computer)
Programmer: Can you send me the backup, please?
Support: Well... backup??? uh... I was embarrassed to tell it... But I don't know what a Backup is
T-Shirt: Why didn't I go to med school?

Random Strings 14/02/2012 15:59

Transcription ↓

/* Sent by Muriel Godoi */
Programmer: I developed a new way to generate random strings...
A. P.: How? It's based on processor's clock?
Programmer? No... Just let the trainee using the "VI" and asked him to close it...
A. P.: Effective...

Original: Strings aleatórias

Proprietary software 13/02/2012 20:06

Transcription ↓

Friend: I've heard about "free" and "proprietary" software... Why do you call "proprietary" the non-free software?
Programmer: It's simple... Because when you buy the software, in a weird way, it becomes your proprietary... He owns you!
Friend: But if I bought it, i'm the owner!
Programmer: Really?? So, who defines how will you use the software? Or on how many computers you can use it? Or if you can update it? Or else, who chooses if you can know how it works inside...

Original: Software proprietário

SQL Error 30/01/2012 16:26

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Erisvaldo Carvalho */
Manager: What code is it that you're trying to fix?
Programmer: SQL...
Manager: Hmmm... Let me see it...
Manager: I wonder that the error is there on these -- (minus minus), because "minus minus" equals "plus"... It's a calculus fail

Original: Erro de SQL

Confidential 17/01/2012 14:45

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Aloisio Almeida Jr */
Wife: Darling, you never told what you're working on
Programmer: It's because my actual project is classified...
Wife: What??? Are you saying you don't trust me?!?
Programmer: HUMPF... ok, I tell you...
15 minutes later (after a "for dummies" explanation)
Programmer: So, this is it... Got it?
Wife: Oh, no... But I don't care...

Original: Confidencial

F5 20/12/2011 14:43

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by bruno */
Boss: That form you made on site isn't working...
Programmer: Wait a minute... I'll fix it...
Programmer: And... It's done.
Boss: Alright, I'll see it...
Hours later...
Boss: Weird... When you told me that it's done, that form wasn't working yet... It started to work only a couple of hours later, after I press F5

Original: F5

Did you? 15/12/2011 15:29

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Ian Magalhães */
Wife: Wow! Did you create this site?
Programmer: Yeah!
Wife: And what's that logo at the bottom?
Programmer: It's designer's logo
Wife: So, who created the site, He or you?
Programmer: I programmed... He did the layout!
Wife: So, he created...

Original: Você que fez?

What are you doing? 12/12/2011 15:52

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Marcos Henrique */
Boss: What are you doing?
Programmer: Programming...
Boss: Great! come here and help me move a cabinet
Programmer: There's no one else to help you?
Boss: No, everyone else is working!

Original: O que você está fazendo?

Open Source 07/12/2011 18:50

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by Maxmiliano Franco Braga */
A.P.: Hey man, do you know that form you did?
Programmer: Yeah...
A.P.: Well, it's crashing on line 12. Could you...
Programmer: Okay, you can fix it! It's open source!

Original: Open Source


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