It's obvious! 23/11/2011 16:23

Transcription ↓

/* True story sent by jeandro */
Programmer: Man, did you see that it crashes when you type letters instead of numbers in that field you created?
Jack: Yeah, it crashes…
Programmer: Alright, so you just need to validate the field…
Jack: The field asks for numbers. The user obviously won’t type letters.
Programmer: Don’t forget the first rule of I.T.: "Never underestimate the user!"

Original: É óbvio...

New column 22/11/2011 14:40

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/* True story sent by Edmilson Felix */
Programmer: DBA? I need a new column in the `workaround` table please.
DBA: Okay! What’s this column for?
Programmer: It will store the URL that the user typed in the browser.
DBA: Hmm… Okay, but what’s an URL?
Programmer:
DBA: Uh, okay. But what a browser?
Programmer:
DBA: Okay, but do you really need this column?
Programmer: NO! I’M ASKING FOR YOU TO CREATE IT, BUT I’LL NEVER USE IT!!

Original: Nova coluna

Quick strips 21/11/2011 16:37

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/* True stories sent by berdam, @PensamentoOgro and João Soares */
Manager: Could you get me a report about the items that aren’t in the system?
Programmer: Ohhhhhhh God!
–
Boss: I think I’ve got a presentation on my laptop but I don’t know when I created it. I need you find it. I will present it this afternoon.
Programmer: How can I find something you that you don’t even know exists?
Boss: You’re the expert!
–
Costumer: Well, the system I need is a piece of cake. You can do it in a week. I just need a customer database, vendor database, financial module, sales module, cash flow, fiscal printer, ...

Original: Rapidinhas

Falling Skies 23/09/2011 20:06

Boss: Hey, I’m worried about this satellite thing… I need a program that will calculate where it will fall…
Programmer: Ok. I can deliver it by Monday.
Boss: But it will fall before Monday!
Programmer: Exactly! The program will be 100% accurate!

Where?? 20/09/2011 14:53

Transcription ↓

Programmer: Hey, man! What did you do to the database?
Jack: Nothing... Only an update for a client who asked to change the role of an user
Programmer: Uh... And by chance did you change his level to 4?
Jack: That's right. Did you see that in the logs?
Programmer: No! You forgot the WHERE on UPDATE!!! All users are level 4 now!

Working on TV 19/09/2011 15:38

Friend: Where do you work?
Programmer: On TV
Friend: And what do you do there?
Programmer: Programs... I'm a programmer
Friend: Cool! What time your program is broadcasted?

Original: Trabalho na TV

Little system 05/09/2011 19:27

Uncle: So, my nephew, you're graduated now, right?
Programmer: Yep
Uncle: So now you can make a little system to my snack bar
Programmer: Well, we may...
Uncle: Great! I'll catch you at 1PM. Because I want to use it at 3PM
Programmer: Oh, wait! We're talking about a system or a cheeseburger?

Original: "Sisteminha" para lanchonete

Screen reader 02/09/2011 13:56

Coworker: "Programming is the best thing you can do dressed"
Coworker: "The advantage of being a programmer is that not even a beach can prevent you from working"
Coworker: "I program, you program, he/she programs, we program, you program, and they sell the program and keep my money"
Coworker: "My coworker read out loud everything I write on twitter. It seems like he's wanting to share with me what I'm saying"

Original: Twitter com leitor de tela

Programmer’s Logic 31/08/2011 14:00

Alex: Man, I'll never understand the women
Programmer: Nobody will... But why are you saying this?
Alex: My wife asked me to go to the market and said: "Bring 6 eggs. If there are potatoes, bring 9." There were potatoes. But she got mad when I arrived only with the 9 eggs...
Programmer: Go figure...

Original: Lógica de Programação

Productivity 29/08/2011 15:02

Boss: Our company is merging with Mr. Carey's company, so he came to know
how we do work
Mr. Carey: Do you program in...
Programmer: Java
Mr. Carey: But... To be productive using java, the programmers need to be good
Programmer: True. But tell me... In which language bad programmers can be productive?
<silence>

Original: Programadores produtivos

 

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