Telepath 25/08/2011 14:08

Programmer (thinking): These columns need some color...
Boss: Try to put some color on that table
Programmer (thinking): What color should I...
Boss: Blue. There's no blue yet...
Programmer (thinking): It got too dark... I need to...
Boss: It's dark. Use a softer blue
Programmer: Calm down! I'm still testing...
Programmer (thinking): And stop reading my mind!

Original: Telepata

Red 24/08/2011 14:21

Programmer: I just finished the Star Labs management system
Boss: Hmmm… I think you could add some red there
Programmer: I just finished the Democratic Republic of Libya website
Boss: What about some red there?
Programmer: I just finished the Greenpeace movement's management system
Boss: Put some red there

Original: Vermelho

Debugging 23/08/2011 14:07

* SOP = Spaghetti Oriented Programming

Programmer (talking to A.P.): Man, I've never seen so many error messages from the compiler!
Boss: So, is the program ready? We're on a deadline!
Programmer: Wait... Just 2 minutes...
2 minutes later...
Programmer: Alright! It's done!
Boss: Great!
A.P.: How did you finish the program so fast?
Programmer: I just commented out the "error lines"... Now it compiles!

Original: Debugando

Now it will work 22/08/2011 13:40

Programmer: Hey, look at this program I wrote... I'll compile it now
Computer: poof!
Programmer: Wait... Now it will work
Computer: poof!
Programmer: Now it will work
Computer: poof!
Programmer: Now it will work
Computer: poof!
5 hours later...
Programmer: Now it will work
Computer: poof!

Original: Agora vai

Ads 18/08/2011 13:17

A. P.: Man, I get mad with these ads... Ads should be more honest
Programmer: If they were honest, they wouldn't be ads
Programmer: Just imagine: "we deliver your system 2 months after deadline", or even "your system with more spaghetti than italy!"... or even worse: "Lowest price for your site, but made using ASP!"

Original: Propaganda honesta

It could be worse 16/08/2011 14:00

Jack: You'll not believe... I erased all client data by mistake, I don't have a
backup and the server can restore their backup only next week... I'm lost!
Programmer: Well, it could be worse...
Jack: Impossible! How could it be worse?
Programmer: It could be me...

The Freelance 15/08/2011 14:00

Friend: Free software doesn’t cost anything, so they call it "free"
Programmer: You're wrong, young padawan...
Programmer: Free as in freedom, not as in "Free beer"... But most people usually misunderstand...
Programmer: For example, I did a freelance job in January, but I think they thought that was a "free"lance like "free beer", because they haven't paid me yet...

Original: O lance do "free"

Not a number 12/08/2011 14:18

A. P.: Hey dude, let's get lunch?
Programmer: Wait a minute, I'm in the zone...
Computer: Error! Not a number!
Programmer: Ok, let's get lunch!

Original: Not a number

Left Join 11/08/2011 14:09

Boss: From now on, you'll not use left or inner join anymore in database queries
Programmer: But what about the performance and...
Boss: It doesn't matter! only simple joins... 'cause I had to fix a bug when you weren't here and it's hard to understand when you use "left join"

Original: LEFT JOIN

Holiday 10/08/2011 13:25

Friend (on the phone): Hey dude, aren't you working today?
Programmer: No! Thank God it's holiday!
Friend: And what you gonna do to enjoy this holiday?
Programmer: I don't know. I think I'll just finish some programs here...

Original: Feriado


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