New field, old report 20/09/2016 14:43

tirinha
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Original: Campo novo, relatório velho

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real story;
string sender = "Carlos Ferrari";

User: I need a new field in the report...
Programmer: Okay. No problem.
(Later...)
User: Listen, this is the report from last month and it doesn't have the field that I asked for...
Programmer (turning around): Doc. Brown, I need a ride...
(Doc. Brown smiles)
--
T-shirt: time()

Inconsistent report 19/09/2016 20:59

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Original: Erro no relatório

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real story;
string sender = "Fernando Rodrigo Cardoso";

Boss: The report is inconsistent, you'll have to rewrite it.
Programmer: What's going on?
Boss: When I ask a report without any filter, it shows all records. But if I set a filter, it shows only part of the records...
--
T-shirt: Shift + Del

How to explain? 15/09/2016 02:27

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Original: Como explicar?

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real story;
string sender = "Thamyres Santos";

Boyfriend: Honey, what are you doing?
Programmer lady: Programming...
Boyfriend: How?
Programmer: Well, I'm using a programming language called C# and... <a little explanation of c# for dummies>...
Boyfriend: Oh, nevermind! It's giving me a headache...
--
T-shirt: Debian Women logo

Database copy 13/09/2016 16:01

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Original: Cópia do banco

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real story;
string sender = "jopss";

Programmer (at phone): Hi, are you the system analyst at your company?
Analyst: Yes, I am.
Programmer: Okay. We need a copy from your database to perform unitary tests using your actual load
Analyst: I'll send it...
Analyst: Did you receive it?
(Attachment: database.pdf)
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Not even listening

Happy?!? 12/09/2016 03:58

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Original: Feliz?!?

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real story;
string sender = "Daniel Chaves";

(It happened on a Programmer's Day)
Friend: Hey, happy Programmer's Day!
Programmer: Thanks! You too!
Friend: What?? No, no way!! God! I'm not a programmer! No, God forbid!
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: One day I'll laugh...

Job interview 30/08/2016 15:45

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Original: Entrevista

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real story;
string sender = "Carlos Anderson";

(A job interview)
HR: To this job opportunity, you must have high skills on Visual Basic. Do you have?
Programmer: Yes...
HR: So, answer me... If this visual Basic stop working, do you consider yourself able to fix it?
--
T-shirt: It's my life

Subscription form 29/08/2016 16:46

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Original: Formulário simples

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real story;
string sender = "Ricardo @Galfurion Junqueira";

User: The subscription form you created is not working. Your programming thing is all wrong!
Programmer: But I tested the form and it's working. Also I said it's going correctly to your email! What is wrong?
User: I don't want that! I want a link to download the form in pdf, to print it, to fill it and send it to me by fax. The online form is only to the user inform that he already sent it
--
T-shirt: Why do simplify?

Colors 26/08/2016 16:45

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Original: Cores

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real story;
string sender = "@gtmeira";

Wife: Honey, What are you doing?
Programmer: Programming...
Wife: But why do you keep changing the colors of the letters?
--
T-shirt: Pacman

Jedi Programmer 24/08/2016 14:30

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Original: Programador Jedi

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string sender = "Joseph Kreifels II";
Boss: You have to finish this project in 2 weeks
Programmer: But we need 6 weeks
Boss: No way. The customer needs it in 2 weeks
Programmer: No. We will deliver it in 6 weeks (doing the jedi gesture)
(Later)
Alex: You had a Star Wars marathon again, right?
Programmer: Do. Or do not. There is no try.
--
T-shirt: Jedi Master

CSV Error 23/08/2016 10:28

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real story;
string sender = "Joseph Kreifels II";

User: Hi, can you help us?
Programmer: What seems to be the problem?
User: We're getting an Error ever since you made changes to our database.
Programmer: What does the error say?
User: It's saying "CSV Exported Successfully"
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Read error

 

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