New system 11/08/2016 15:14

tirinha
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Original: Novo sistema

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "Edigley Dias da Silva";

User: I need a new system...
Programmer: Ok. Tell me what do you want and I'll estimate the costs
User: Well... Do you know... Our company has no money to pay now...
Programmer: Great! I also have no time... So I don't write a software to you and it's alright!
--
T-shirt: Will code for food

How much time 09/08/2016 05:12

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Original: Em quanto tempo?

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "Rui Santos";

Boss: How much time do you need to deliver that system?
Programmer: At least 4 months
Boss: I need you do it in 2...
Programmer: Great! So you already know that it will be 2 months delayed...
--
T-shirt: I <3 CODE

New rules 08/08/2016 02:19

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Original: Mudança de regras

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "icarovts";

User: Your system still doesn't work according the new rule that we implemented on the company...
Programmer: Well, every new rule must be evaluated to be implemented in the system
User: DAMN! DO YOU EXPECT WE WARN YOU ABOUT EVERY NEW RULE WE IMPLEMENT HERE??
(Programmer chokes with coffee)
--
T-shirt: (Chapolim shirt)

The client list 05/08/2016 14:51

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Original: Listagem de clientes

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real story;
string sender = "eu_franco";

Boss: I need a list of all customers registered on the system for tomorrow morning
Programmer: Ok
Boss: Could you put their name and address in the list?
Programmer: Is there their address in the database?
Boss: No, but it might have a way...
(Programmer's glass breaks)
--
T-shirt: Mister M

Face recognition 04/08/2016 14:57

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Original: Reconhecimento facial

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "Walter Azevedo";

User: I think I wish a face recognition module on login...
Programmer: Wow, wait a while! It's too complex to develop now. We would have to postpone the deadline
User: No, it's not complex to do! The hard way is to verify if the face is the same as the one in the database. But you could verify if the face is different of the faces in database... So it's easier!
(Programmer chokes with coffee)
--
T-shirt: Damn you Hollywood

A fluffy site 03/08/2016 14:28

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Original: Site fofo

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real story;
string sender = "@tberne";

Programmer: So, what do you expect from your site?
User: I would like a fluffy site!
Programmer: Uh... And what do you mean by "fluffy"?
User: Well... A fluffy site, like... cottony!
(Programmer chokes with coffee)
--
T-shirt: Now I've seen everything!

May I update it? 02/08/2016 16:12

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Original: Posso alterar?

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "Canez";

(Call from support guy)
Support: Dude, help me: I have to update an invoice description... Or maybe the value... I don't know... Also I don't know what kind of invoice... May I update it?
Programmer: Let me see, you don't know what you have to change, not even the kind of invoice, but you want to know if you can update it?
Support: Wow! yes! You got it!!
Programmer: NOOOO! First you have to know what you really need!!
(Programmer throws the phone againt the wall)
--
T-shirt: Ctrl+Alt+Del

Obfuscated code 01/08/2016 03:56

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Original: Código ofuscado

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string sender = "Gustavo";
Boss: We need to buy a software to obfuscate the source code
Programmer: No, we don't need...
Boss: What? Why not?
Programmer: Our intern already writes obfuscated code...
--
T-shirt: Beautiful is better than ugly

C Compiler 29/07/2016 15:19

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Original: Compilador de C

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "Marcos Lima";

Trainee: Dude, could you suggest me a good C compiler?
Programmer: Sure! You could start with devcpp, which has a compiler, a debugger and the code editor...
Trainee: Great! Can I ask you only a quick little favor?
Programmer: Say it...
Trainee: Could you teach me how to program in C?
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: To infinity and beyond!

Visibility 28/07/2016 16:00

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Original: Visibilidade

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "Dewes";

Boss: Who can see the messages in that forum you've installed here?
Programmer: Everyone...
Boss: Ok, but who? The users?
Programmer: Uh, yes...
Boss: But they can see only if they access it, right?
Programmer: ?
--
T-shirt: It's not hard to be above par

 

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