All day playing that game 30/10/2015 23:21
Original: Nesse jogo o dia inteiro
(Working on-site from a client's office)
User came in with Programmer's Boss: Did you see it? I told you... He stays all day playing that game...
Boss: Oh, it's ok. That "game" he is allowed to "play". It's in that "game" that he writes your software...
T-shirt: CSS is not CS
How to make the cookies 29/10/2015 21:30
Original: Tem que fazer os cookies direito
Once my boss came in and told me that I must make the cookies the right way.
I said I couldn't, because I don't know how to cook.
We laugh a lot.
I got fired.
T-shirt: It's stronger than me...
Legacy software 27/10/2015 21:48
Original: Sistema legado
sender = "Antonio";
User: Hi, remember me? You wrote an inventory control system years ago... It's saying "vb6 error 61 disk full", do you know what is it?
Programmer: Well, I can check it at home... But you may delete all the porn on your server that it may work... (Clown nose)
User: It worked, thanks! Good to know I can count on you even after so many years...
T-shirt: People take me serious only when i'm joking...
Urgent report 26/10/2015 23:24
sender = "Claudio Ramone";
Boss: I need the new report for today urgently!
Programmer (to Alex): Weird... Look this: Clothes $2,000.00, shoes $500.00... I wonder who would be that customer...
Boss (at phone): Honey, I'm looking your credit card bill and it's too high this month, sweetheart...
T-shirt: If only Anakin had not fallen in love...
High priority 22/10/2015 23:27
Original: Tarefa prioritária
sender = "Linston Benatti";
Programmer: Boss, you gave me those two analysis to do today, but I only have time to do one. Which one has higher priority?
Programmer: You didn't get it. I can only do one of them today. Which one is more important?
Boss: Both. Mix them, combine them, and turn both in one, so you can do both!
T-shirt: 1. Do not injury a human
You've gotta come back with me to the future! 22/10/2015 00:30
Doc. Brown: Marty! You've gotta come back with me to the future. It's your kids, Marty.
Marty: Wait, my kids?? Are you saying they will join on a heavy gang, then they will vandalize the city and get arrested?
Doc. Brown: Even worse... They will become programmers!
Marty: This is heavy, Doc!
Java is not slow 16/10/2015 22:28
sender = "Duda Nogueira";
Programmer: Come on, stop that crap that Java is slow...
Programmer: Wait, I'll show you my code to prove that Java is not slow. You'll see it...
Programmer: Wait, the IDE is starting...
Programmer: Just a moment... It's almost done...
Programmer: Just a little bit... You'll see how fast it is...
T-shirt: Just wait and get a coffee
Changing password 15/10/2015 09:24
Original: Alterar senha
sender = "Diego Hellas";
Programmer: After log in, type: set password = password('newpass');
Programmer: Did it work?
Alonso: Yeah... But now my password is "newpass"... How can I change it?
T-shirt: Your new password is: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Hard to read 09/10/2015 22:07
Original: Difícil de ler
sender = "Ricardo Kajihara";
Alex: Dude, are you ready?
Programmer: For what?
Alex: I'm forwarding you an user message...
Subject: Hard to understand the images.
The validation images are in very low graphics quality, we're experiencing some difficulty to identify the letters.
(Below the user sent a captcha image)
T-shirt: If I had a heart I'd be hypertensive