Mistaken 12/11/2015 22:20

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Original: Engano

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Eduardo Nicioli";

Programmer: Hi, we're waiting a call from a customer. Nobody called yet?
Secretary: No, just one call till now, but it was a mistaken... They were looking for some guy called webmaster...
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: It had to be Alonso... oh, wait!

Reproducing the error 05/11/2015 00:44

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Original: Reproduzindo o erro

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "André Lana";

Alonso: I still can't reproduce here the user's error...
Programmer: Ok, so we'll have to debug it on customer's office...
(A little later...)
Alonso: Ready, I took everything. Are we going now?
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: I wonder if you were working with mainframes

Put it in the cloud 03/11/2015 23:19

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Original: Coloca na nuvem

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Luan";

Wife: Honey, I want a place to keep my files safe. I'm afraid to keep them on an external drive and it breaks...
Programmer: So, put them in the cloud...
Wife: The cloud?
Programmer: Yeah, in the internet...
Wife: Is there a cloud in the internet?
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: ?

Halloween 01/11/2015 06:45

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Programmers are always confused between Halloween and Christmas
Because 31OCT = 25DEC

All day playing that game 30/10/2015 23:21

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Original: Nesse jogo o dia inteiro

Transcription ↓

(Working on-site from a client's office)
User came in with Programmer's Boss: Did you see it? I told you... He stays all day playing that game...
Boss: Oh, it's ok. That "game" he is allowed to "play". It's in that "game" that he writes your software...
--
T-shirt: CSS is not CS

How to make the cookies 29/10/2015 21:30

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Original: Tem que fazer os cookies direito

Transcription ↓

Once my boss came in and told me that I must make the cookies the right way.
I said I couldn't, because I don't know how to cook.
We laugh a lot.
I got fired.
--
T-shirt: It's stronger than me...

Legacy software 27/10/2015 21:48

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Original: Sistema legado

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Antonio";

User: Hi, remember me? You wrote an inventory control system years ago... It's saying "vb6 error 61 disk full", do you know what is it?
Programmer: Well, I can check it at home... But you may delete all the porn on your server that it may work... (Clown nose)
(Minutes later...)
User: It worked, thanks! Good to know I can count on you even after so many years...
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: People take me serious only when i'm joking...

Urgent report 26/10/2015 23:24

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Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Claudio Ramone";

Boss: I need the new report for today urgently!
Programmer: ok
(Later)
Programmer (to Alex): Weird... Look this: Clothes $2,000.00, shoes $500.00... I wonder who would be that customer...
(Later...)
Boss (at phone): Honey, I'm looking your credit card bill and it's too high this month, sweetheart...
--
T-shirt: If only Anakin had not fallen in love...

High priority 22/10/2015 23:27

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Original: Tarefa prioritária

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Linston Benatti";

Programmer: Boss, you gave me those two analysis to do today, but I only have time to do one. Which one has higher priority?
Boss: Both
Programmer: You didn't get it. I can only do one of them today. Which one is more important?
Boss: Both. Mix them, combine them, and turn both in one, so you can do both!
--
T-shirt: 1. Do not injury a human

You've gotta come back with me to the future! 22/10/2015 00:30

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(1985...)
Doc. Brown: Marty! You've gotta come back with me to the future. It's your kids, Marty.
Marty: Wait, my kids?? Are you saying they will join on a heavy gang, then they will vandalize the city and get arrested?
Doc. Brown: Even worse... They will become programmers!
Marty: This is heavy, Doc!

 

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