National Coffee Day 29/09/2015 18:24

tirinha
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Original: Dia Nacional do Café

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A.P.: Dude, what's going on today?? We never had so many problems and so many calls on tech support...
Programmer: Today is the National Coffee Day...
A.P.: So... ?
Programmer: So Jimmy gave coffee to Alonso, to celebrate the day...
A.P.: So... ?
Programmer: So Alonso got fast! He never did so much mess so fast...
--
T-shirt: Coffee day = date();

Did you see the eclipse? 28/09/2015 09:56

tirinha
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Friend: Dude, the sky was cloudy last night, i haven't seen the eclipse.
Programmer: I saw.
(Programmer sad face)
--
T-shirt: The eclipse lasted all night

New project 25/09/2015 23:40

tirinha
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Original: Novo projeto

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "André Barreto";

Boss: I have a new project to you, guys... It's for a new customer
Programmer: Cool. What do they need?
Boss: I don't know yet. But you can start to code while I will go there to ask...
--
T-shirt: (Darth Vader) I am your coder

Photo recover 24/09/2015 23:52

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "Hyago Brendoll";

Friend: Dude, is it possible to recover some photos that I deleted from my USB stick?
Programmer: Yes, if you didn't overwrite them yet...
Friend: What??
Programmer: Did you copy anything to the stick after that?
Friend: No.
Programmer: So I can recover them
Friend: Man! This is awesome!! So you're telling me if I have a 8Gb USB stick, delete everything, then fill it again, I'll have 16Gb!!
Programmer (whispering): Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not kill.
--
T-shirt: Go home, you're drunk!

Blacklist 22/09/2015 21:47

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Original: Blacklist

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Boss: The customer asked if we have a list of sites to block at work...
Programmer: Oh, yes. Wait a minute...
Programmer: Alonso, please, just send me your browsing history...

Learn binary! 19/09/2015 22:41

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Redistributing the tasks 17/09/2015 09:51

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "Silva";

Boss: At the board of directors we decided to redistribute the tasks to improve the process... From now on, Alonso will be exclusively on System A, A.P. on System B and the other systems will be distributed among the other programmers...
Prorgammer: I am "the other programmers"...
Boss: Damn! Bad luck!
--
T-shirt: You could hire some minions to help

Driverless cars 16/09/2015 22:06

And you thought they were just good and innocent cars...

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Have you ever realized that the Cars movie is set in the future when driverless cars have already eliminated all the human beings?

Capital Letters 15/09/2015 21:27

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Original: Maiúsculas

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "Victor G.";

User: Since you updated the system my computer is writing everything on capital letters!
Programmer: Tell me, is there a little light turned on at your keyboard written "caps Lock" or an "A"?
User: Yes!
Programmer: So press "Caps Lock" key at the left border of your keyboard...
User: It works!! When did you install this key here?
(Programmer's glass crashes)
--
T-shirt: I'm not the support guy

Do you have any requirements? 14/09/2015 18:36

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "Hans Vledder";

Boss: How long would it take you to implement a dialer for our customers alarm system in C++?
Programmer: Do you have any requirements I can take a look at?
Boss: No, but it is simply a dialer, so come on now.
Programmer: I won't be able to give you an estimate if I don't know what it needs to do.
Boss (angry): Well the alarm system has a 2K EPROM, so come on now.
Programmer: I can fill that EPROM with zero's or ones within 15 minutes for you, or does it need to do anything particular?
Boss (mad): Of course it does, you idiot, I just told you THE CUSTOMER NEED A DIALER!!!
Programmer: Hmmm, ok...
Programmer: Do you have any requirements I can take a look at?
--
T-shirt: I'm not nike to just do it

 

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