You've gotta come back with me to the future! 22/10/2015 00:30

tirinha
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(1985...)
Doc. Brown: Marty! You've gotta come back with me to the future. It's your kids, Marty.
Marty: Wait, my kids?? Are you saying they will join on a heavy gang, then they will vandalize the city and get arrested?
Doc. Brown: Even worse... They will become programmers!
Marty: This is heavy, Doc!

Java is not slow 16/10/2015 22:28

tirinha
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string sender;
sender = "Duda Nogueira";

Programmer: Come on, stop that crap that Java is slow...
Programmer: Wait, I'll show you my code to prove that Java is not slow. You'll see it...
Programmer: Wait, the IDE is starting...
Programmer: Just a moment... It's almost done...
Programmer: Just a little bit... You'll see how fast it is...
Alex: zzzzzzzz
--
T-shirt: Just wait and get a coffee

Changing password 15/10/2015 09:24

tirinha
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Original: Alterar senha

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "Diego Hellas";

Programmer: After log in, type: set password = password('newpass');
Programmer: Did it work?
Alonso: Yeah... But now my password is "newpass"... How can I change it?
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Your new password is: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Hard to read 09/10/2015 22:07

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Original: Difícil de ler

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "Ricardo Kajihara";

Alex: Dude, are you ready?
Programmer: For what?
Alex: I'm forwarding you an user message...
The message:
Subject: Hard to understand the images.
Good afternoon,
The validation images are in very low graphics quality, we're experiencing some difficulty to identify the letters.
(Below the user sent a captcha image)
--
T-shirt: If I had a heart I'd be hypertensive

Download error 01/10/2015 23:43

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Original: Erro no download

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "Dumatus";

Boss: The user must to be logged in to download, so when they click on download button the system must show the login form.
Programmer: Ok.
(Some time later...)
Boss (by phone): Programmer, I'm here at customer's office. There's an error on download button...
Programmer: What error?
Boss: I'm clicking on it and the download starts without ask to log in
Programmer: Are you logged in?
Boss: Yes.
(Long silence followed by a phone thrown at the wall)
--
T-shirt: Send nulls

National Coffee Day 29/09/2015 18:24

tirinha
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Original: Dia Nacional do Café

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A.P.: Dude, what's going on today?? We never had so many problems and so many calls on tech support...
Programmer: Today is the National Coffee Day...
A.P.: So... ?
Programmer: So Jimmy gave coffee to Alonso, to celebrate the day...
A.P.: So... ?
Programmer: So Alonso got fast! He never did so much mess so fast...
--
T-shirt: Coffee day = date();

Did you see the eclipse? 28/09/2015 09:56

tirinha
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Friend: Dude, the sky was cloudy last night, i haven't seen the eclipse.
Programmer: I saw.
(Programmer sad face)
--
T-shirt: The eclipse lasted all night

New project 25/09/2015 23:40

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Original: Novo projeto

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "André Barreto";

Boss: I have a new project to you, guys... It's for a new customer
Programmer: Cool. What do they need?
Boss: I don't know yet. But you can start to code while I will go there to ask...
--
T-shirt: (Darth Vader) I am your coder

Photo recover 24/09/2015 23:52

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real story;
string sender;
sender = "Hyago Brendoll";

Friend: Dude, is it possible to recover some photos that I deleted from my USB stick?
Programmer: Yes, if you didn't overwrite them yet...
Friend: What??
Programmer: Did you copy anything to the stick after that?
Friend: No.
Programmer: So I can recover them
Friend: Man! This is awesome!! So you're telling me if I have a 8Gb USB stick, delete everything, then fill it again, I'll have 16Gb!!
Programmer (whispering): Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not kill.
--
T-shirt: Go home, you're drunk!

Blacklist 22/09/2015 21:47

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Original: Blacklist

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Boss: The customer asked if we have a list of sites to block at work...
Programmer: Oh, yes. Wait a minute...
Programmer: Alonso, please, just send me your browsing history...

 

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