Artigos marcados com a tag real

New column 22/11/2011 14:40

Transcription ↓/* True story sent by Edmilson Felix */ Programmer: DBA? I need a new column in the `workaround` table please. DBA: Okay! What’s this column for? Programmer: It will store the URL that the user typed in the browser. DBA: Hmm… Okay, but what’s an URL? Programmer: DBA: Uh, okay. But what a browser?() leia mais

Quick strips 21/11/2011 16:37

Transcription ↓/* True stories sent by berdam, @PensamentoOgro and João Soares */ Manager: Could you get me a report about the items that aren’t in the system? Programmer: Ohhhhhhh God! – Boss: I think I’ve got a presentation on my laptop but I don’t know when I created it. I need you find it. I will present it this afternoon.() leia mais

Little system 05/09/2011 19:27

Uncle: So, my nephew, you're graduated now, right?Programmer: YepUncle: So now you can make a little system to my snack barProgrammer: Well, we may...Uncle: Great! I'll catch you at 1PM. Because I want to use it at 3PMProgrammer: Oh, wait! We're talking about a system or a cheeseburger?Original: "Sisteminha" para lanchonete

Productivity 29/08/2011 15:02

Boss: Our company is merging with Mr. Carey's company, so he came to know how we do work Mr. Carey: Do you program in... Programmer: Java Mr. Carey: But... To be productive using java, the programmers need to be good Programmer: True. But tell me... In which language bad programmers can be productive?() leia mais

Telepath 25/08/2011 14:08

Programmer (thinking): These columns need some color... Boss: Try to put some color on that table Programmer (thinking): What color should I... Boss: Blue. There's no blue yet... Programmer (thinking): It got too dark... I need to... Boss: It's dark. Use a softer blue Programmer: Calm down! I'm still testing...() leia mais

Red 24/08/2011 14:21

Programmer: I just finished the Star Labs management systemBoss: Hmmm… I think you could add some red thereProgrammer: I just finished the Democratic Republic of Libya websiteBoss: What about some red there?Programmer: I just finished the Greenpeace movement's management systemBoss: Put some red thereOriginal: Vermelho

Debugging 23/08/2011 14:07

* SOP = Spaghetti Oriented Programming Programmer (talking to A.P.): Man, I've never seen so many error messages from the compiler! Boss: So, is the program ready? We're on a deadline! Programmer: Wait... Just 2 minutes... (Coding...) 2 minutes later... Programmer: Alright! It's done! Boss: Great! A.P.() leia mais

The Freelance 15/08/2011 14:00

Friend: Free software doesn’t cost anything, so they call it "free" Programmer: You're wrong, young padawan... Programmer: Free as in freedom, not as in "Free beer"... But most people usually misunderstand...() leia mais

Left Join 11/08/2011 14:09

Boss: From now on, you'll not use left or inner join anymore in database queriesProgrammer: But what about the performance and...Boss: It doesn't matter! only simple joins... 'cause I had to fix a bug when you weren't here and it's hard to understand when you use "left join"Original: LEFT JOIN

.exe file on Linux 09/08/2011 14:00

Jack: How can I open an .exe file on linux?Programmer: You can'tJack: There's no way to do it?Programmer: Well, you can open some programs within wine... why?Jack: Because an old friend of mine sent me some photos in file photos.exeProgrammer: (ploft)Original: Arquivo .EXE no Linux

 

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